Off Topic

how do you deal with self righteous relatives -very argumentative

Deal Addict
User avatar
Sep 23, 2009
4977 posts
2093 upvotes
Solution: Move out of Mom's house.

If you are too lazy, cheap or poor (Disappointed But Relieved Face) this is the price you pay.

She has your best interests in her heart, but the world has changed.

She still wants you to be successful enough to move out though. But we all know she just doesn't understand that playing video games are all part of the bigger plan.
Deal Guru
Mar 22, 2004
13041 posts
3526 upvotes
RFD
renoldman wrote: Solution: Move out of Mom's house.

If you are too lazy, cheap or poor (Disappointed But Relieved Face) this is the price you pay.

She has your best interests in her heart, but the world has changed.

She still wants you to be successful enough to move out though. But we all know she just doesn't understand that playing video games are all part of the bigger plan.
Pretty much it.

Imagine telling them you can make money nowadays by playing video games (eSports) or streaming yourself playing video games, or taking videos of food and posting it on YouTube. They just won't understand because the times have changed, the only time they will understand is if they see the results start flowing in.

Either move out or just don't respond/change subjects or literally tell them they should not be giving advice when they themselves aren't who they want you to be. Its not always about money too. If you make tons of money and have shitty job that depresses you, is it worth it? That stress and shit job is gonna catch up and kill you down the road. I'd rather have a job I loved to do each day and make less money doing so, and none of those four wall cubicle depressing jobs. Better yet I'd love to travel the world, document it on youtube, and if I'm still poor doing so, so be it because those experiences are priceless.

P.S. Despite all this, please still love your parents.
[OP]
Newbie
Jun 9, 2020
10 posts
3 upvotes
bhrm wrote: Unless it's someone who leads by example, not worth listening to.

I also get tired of those who idolize billionaires, tech startup CEOs, and most of them will say, they didn't work 'hard', they just happened to create the right thing at the right time with the right people.

Start listening to people who actually care about you and can give constructive feedback.

I didn't get too much from relatives because the bar was set low when i chose HR as my career path lol. HR isn't something much in Asian families, HR and male...

Make your own path, make your own success.
rather listen to people who have receipts to prove it not just playing lip service
lot ppl just making things up creating a pseudo
Jr. Member
Nov 20, 2016
161 posts
133 upvotes
monchichipower wrote: Told her im listening social influencer on youtube who have social proof and recceipts to prove it.
Was kinda with you until this point. What do you mean by social proof and "recceipts [sic] to prove it"? If you're listening to social influencers, then aren't you just preferring one type of narrative over the other?
Jr. Member
May 29, 2017
123 posts
66 upvotes
I learned a long time ago theres no point arguing or discussing anything with an arrogant mindset. Anyone who refuses to see another side isnt worth the time and effort. Doesnt matter who is right or wrong. Live your life and move on
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
May 11, 2009
5230 posts
1925 upvotes
Debtario
Just ignore and move on with your life. Those generations are set in their ways, times have changed, situations have changed. There's no shortage of people willing to tell you how you should live your life and everybody believes they are right. Forget about challenging their views, focus on yourself as you are the only variable you have control of in these instances.

I have family members and family friends that are exactly like that too, lots of gossip and boasting about how their kids are in this city doing that, went to such and such school, are super successful, etc. Some are just armchair advice experts with no success to back them up, others are just lying or grossly exaggerating, while the actual "successful" ones 100% of the time are leaving out any deals that look bad, such as how many people they've screwed over or how they lied, cheated, or stole to get where they are now.
"I possess a device, in my pocket, capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get in arguments with strangers"
Deal Fanatic
Oct 7, 2010
9225 posts
1383 upvotes
M1K3Z0R wrote: Just ignore and move on with your life. Those generations are set in their ways, times have changed, situations have changed. There's no shortage of people willing to tell you how you should live your life and everybody believes they are right. Forget about challenging their views, focus on yourself as you are the only variable you have control of in these instances.

I have family members and family friends that are exactly like that too, lots of gossip and boasting about how their kids are in this city doing that, went to such and such school, are super successful, etc. Some are just armchair advice experts with no success to back them up, others are just lying or grossly exaggerating, while the actual "successful" ones 100% of the time are leaving out any deals that look bad, such as how many people they've screwed over or how they lied, cheated, or stole to get where they are now.
That's so an asian thing. Instead of bringing how amazing they are, they bring out how amazing their kids are. Pure jokes. Their kids arent them.
[OP]
Newbie
Jun 9, 2020
10 posts
3 upvotes
you listen to multple influencers and take what works and resonates with you. of course lot doesnt apply to me
Hanniballs wrote: Was kinda with you until this point. What do you mean by social proof and "recceipts [sic] to prove it"? If you're listening to social influencers, then aren't you just preferring one type of narrative over the other?
Sr. Member
User avatar
Feb 12, 2006
756 posts
289 upvotes
Do these people work for the public sector or the government? That may explain it
Deal Addict
Jul 13, 2009
4162 posts
2210 upvotes
desolatioN wrote: Do these people work for the public sector or the government? That may explain it
If you think about the last generation of workers, including first gen immigrants of the 80's and 90's, you found a good job in a good company, you stick with it 25 years to life. Put in your hours, do a great job, get promoted/raises, retire, have a good pension to enjoy.

This generation is a lot more fluid and dynamic, even chaotic. Very rarely you'll find someone in the same job or let alone same company for long. We have to make moves, upgrade skills, relocate sometimes, network, and keep fluid.

Luckily I have retired relatives who did the same thing, never in the same place and always talking to headhunters even when not interested. They changed jobs every 3-7 years, different industries and moved on up or across.
Member
Dec 10, 2014
330 posts
240 upvotes
BC
M1K3Z0R wrote: Just ignore and move on with your life. Those generations are set in their ways, times have changed, situations have changed. There's no shortage of people willing to tell you how you should live your life and everybody believes they are right. Forget about challenging their views, focus on yourself as you are the only variable you have control of in these instances.

I have family members and family friends that are exactly like that too, lots of gossip and boasting about how their kids are in this city doing that, went to such and such school, are super successful, etc. Some are just armchair advice experts with no success to back them up, others are just lying or grossly exaggerating, while the actual "successful" ones 100% of the time are leaving out any deals that look bad, such as how many people they've screwed over or how they lied, cheated, or stole to get where they are now.
Pretty much this, ignore and be motivated to succeed yourself.

My Asian parents used to be like that too, I gotta go to university, be a lawyer/doctor typical shit, so they can brag among their friends how their kids are doing well.

I knew it would be a waste of time and money for me, so I did my own thing and hired on with cn making 110k-130k+ yr depending on how much I wanna work. While their friends kids went to university, got a degree, but found jobs unrelated or at a bank etc. Making much less, with huge debt etc.
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
Aug 16, 2010
6348 posts
3255 upvotes
Aurora
Helpful, low effort conversational phrases to survive the night sane.

Uh-huh...
Hmm...
Wow...
So true...
I see...
Yup...
Ok...


Internal, more productive thoughts:
Remember to do laundry.
9am meeting on Monday.
I really need to take a shit.
Etc ...
Deal Addict
Dec 27, 2013
3219 posts
1065 upvotes
Woodbridge
This reminds me of this video that I saw recently.

Top