Real Estate

How much would this breakup cost me?

  • Last Updated:
  • Apr 19th, 2022 10:45 pm
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Deal Addict
Sep 3, 2020
2720 posts
1994 upvotes
Well, I’m obviously in the minority here. Or rather, the loner.

I paid the house with all of my funds. I brought significant savings to the relationship so to speak. No thought of a pre-nup. Recognition that if the relationship breaks up, we are both entitled to 50/50. It’s fair because both parties contribute significantly to what we have.

Love is not a dream nor is it a calculation. It’s hard to find that type of relationship but I hope that people don’t lose faith - of course, it’s about finding a good person and someone of character. OP’s girlfriend sounded like a very decent woman too.

Not everyone is as greedy as we might imagine or fear.

YMMV.
Banned
Sep 27, 2020
153 posts
107 upvotes
freeforall wrote: Reminds me that our Family Act is outdated and disproportionately favours women. Need to push our MPPs, although I doubt anything will change.
Outdated but they favour the lower earner. Going quietly as OP says is much more common for men as most rightly won't try to claim the right to some windfall by virtue of living with someone for 10 months. The true stay at home spouse who quit a lucrative job to take care of the household should of course be taken care of. Other cases should be updated to reflect the modern family. Don't hold your breath.

My ex for example makes 4X my salary. I wouldn't have asked for anything if not for our ridiculous child support laws that see me liable for nearly half my income completely ignoring her income. So she is living off 9X what I am so of course I took what I could get from the spousal split.
Member
User avatar
Apr 6, 2020
277 posts
366 upvotes
Halifax
BiegeToyota wrote: How can such a wrong comment get so many upvotes?
Because it's backed by statistical evidence.

Women are six times more likely to win a contested custody order then men. https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/jr/ ... nov02.html

CRA automatically deposits child tax benefit in the mom's account, even when they aren't the primary guardian https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/c ... -1.3812520

US census data shows that 41.3% of custodial fathers did not receive child support from non-custodial mother vs 28.8% of custodial mothers in reverse, and that only 17.5% of fathers who ask for custody get it. Plenty of other studies out there if you know how to Google.

The law is also flawed in many other ways that doesn't get reported. I have seen moms get chance after chance from the court when they are abusing drugs/alcohol, not providing for kids, etc. whereas dads do not get the same treatment when the shoe is on the other foot.

Anecdotally, I briefly dated a lawyer, who previously practiced in family law and is a staunch feminist, believe that men get a raw deal in family court. Some of the other divorce lawyers and judges I have met have admitted to me and publicly (again, Google) that as well. And I have also been close to a couple of contentious divorce cases where the jaded ex-wife throws every accusation under the sun at her ex-husband (threats, physical abuse, etc.) that the police respond to and proven untrue, but when it actually happens the other way around, they don't do a darn thing.

It's a broken system and things need to change, yesterday.
Last edited by aceofklubs on Apr 21st, 2022 7:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Deal Addict
User avatar
May 10, 2008
2190 posts
2394 upvotes
Vancouver, BC
Broken system for sure, but I don’t know if it will ever truly be fair. It’s easier and cheaper for the government to make the wealthier party (likely the husband) pay because otherwise the government will have to support his ex wife and kids.

It’s like how landlords always end up getting screwed, even when they are right. Letting the landlord foot the bill while the tenant squats for a few extra months is cheaper than having a quick eviction process and having to deal with all the homeless tenants.

To clarify: I am in support of prenups and don’t see myself without one.

I’m glad to see that things worked out for OP!

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