Locked: Job search... :’(

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  • Feb 23rd, 2018 8:09 pm
Sr. Member
User avatar
Jul 21, 2014
811 posts

Job search... :’(

I will just come out with it: anyone ever truly feel like cashing it in, ending it all when it comes to lack of progress in finding a job...?
I’ve already written a letter to my wife and explaining why I have chosen to do what I am doing. I just want to know has anyone else here felt the same? The feelings of worthlessness never leave.
26 replies
Dec 13, 2017
247 posts
Yes, when i was trying to figure out what to do after undergrad. I knew what i wanted to do but just could get a foot in. After a year and half of struggle it worked out and now i am pretty satisfied of where I am.

The only thing i would say is to remember if you do it then there is nothing and is pretty selfish and a cowardly thing to do since its the easier way out.

Get tough and keep at it! DO w.e it takes go to networking events, reach out to ppl move to another place, commute farther then you want. Keep at it and ride the BEAST!!!
Deal Fanatic
Sep 23, 2007
5288 posts
AchtungB4by wrote: I will just come out with it: anyone ever truly feel like cashing it in, ending it all when it comes to lack of progress in finding a job...?
I’ve already written a letter to my wife and explaining why I have chosen to do what I am doing. I just want to know has anyone else here felt the same? The feelings of worthlessness never leave.
A letter? You guys don't talk? She expecting you to be the breadwinner? That would be rough. I feel you.

Some constructive thoughts...
-At the end of the day, you are you. You can only control yourself. It's true the job market in whatever field you are in might not be so in-demand. But you can't change the market. You just have to focus on doing what you can to get ahead

-Automation has definitely killed a lot of jobs. The internet has also shipped a lot of jobs overseas because there exist some types of work that you can get someone to do overseas for a fraction of the price. Once you understand this, accept it and focus on what you can do to improve. There are still jobs. If the competition is tough, then just focus on how to make yourself stand out.

-Don't be afraid to start low. I don't know what you do but I suggest you take ANY job. Just doing something and earning some $$$ will ease some of that worthlessness. You will at least earn a reference, which might open door to a better opportunity.

-Keep yourself busy. There are only so many job openings online. Aside from sending applications, go read some books, or join some activities where you can meet new people and learn new things. Meeting new people is also how you build connections. You might just meet someone who is either in a position to hire, or influence hiring decision. In this day and age, companies grapple with the thousands of face-less applicants. Having a referral does wonders as you bypass a lot of guesswork about personality. Aside from self learning, definitely spend some time to make sure you are tackling you interviews with skill. It doesn't matter if you apply to 1000000 opportunities if you bomb them all.

Last but not least, don't give up. You are only defeated when you give up.
Mar 26, 2015
30 posts
Toronto, ON
Hi OP, I know that things are rough at the moment, but I understand where your coming from. I also have put in so much time, money, and effort in order to find a job in my field, but nothing has panned out so far. But that doesn't mean either one of us should give up. Your family needs you in this time, and could not get by if you were gone. Moreover, you owe it to yourself to keep trying and become the best you can be. The world is a beautiful place, and positive changes can be just around the corner.

If you are experiencing problems have experienced thoughts of self-hatred and suicide, please reach out. There are many caring people in Toronto (where you're currently located it seems), Ontario, and Canada who are determined to assist you.

Centre for Addiction & Mental Health: (416)-979-6885, 250 College Street.

Toronto Distress Line: (416)-408-4357
Deal Addict
Nov 29, 2017
1452 posts
Don’t give up OP! Stay positive and keep networking. Volunteering and part time work helps keep you busy, increase your interactions with possible leads and provides accomplishments. Keep communicating with family, friends, old colleagues; someone always knows someone who knows about a lead even here in RFD
Feb 20, 2018
6 posts
Finding the right job is tough. It takes time and we’ve all been through it. Something will eventually come through for you.
Deal Fanatic
Aug 31, 2017
5060 posts
OP, I encourage you to talk to someone as the poster above stated. I sincerely hope you are doing well.

If you would like any help on interview practices, resume help, anything - please let me know. I know you were potentially getting into insurance? It's one of the more fulfilling places I've worked, because you truly meet some interesting people outside of insurance and can form some great relationships.

Again, don't feel like you need to suffer alone or in silence. Talk to someone. Never feel ashamed or embarrassed to get help.
Deal Addict
Oct 16, 2013
2397 posts
New Brunswick
I am going through the job hunt too. I feel for you. You have to keep yourself occupy and volunteering does help. Use the time to learn a new skill. Also, provinces have employment centres that you can drop in to see if they can help.

If I am reading your post right, you should call suicide helpline. You deserve help and you don't want to put your wife and family with the pain of losing you to suicide. Remember that a job isn't who you are. According to people who jump off the bridge and lived, once you let go of the bar you will regret jumping.
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
Sep 23, 2009
5522 posts
Sucks looking for a job while unemployed in the winter.

Lots of good things posted.

I just want to say that you should know you aren't the only one struggling.
Deal Addict
Mar 17, 2016
1727 posts
It gets better, the key is to not give up and keep on trying. I know how it feels, it took me a while to get a decent job. Once you get that foot in a door and get things going, trust me all this struggling will be behind you in the past.
Deal Addict
Nov 29, 2017
1452 posts
OP sometimes it may be easier to talk/vent to a stranger, take advantage of the help lines, you chose to use RFD as an outlet which is a good step, please take another for support.
Feb 21, 2018
13 posts
Keep working at it and don't give up. Learn all you can and keep pushing.
Sr. Member
Jun 1, 2008
718 posts
Richmond Hill
OP please talk to someone!

It's okay to feel inadequate about finding the right job but don't end it. You're not worthless. You have value beyond what you do and where you work. Keep on trying and seek help.
Aug 25, 2006
235 posts
Just take any job(s) in the interim to make ends meet. The new $14 per hour minimum wage ain't half bad.

Might I suggest a call center job... due to high turnover these places are always looking to fill seats and most pay better then min wage and have perks (discounts, benefits, stock plans, pension, etc). About 20 years ago I worked call center tech support or one of the big three telecom providers straight outta college and made about $16 and hour when min wage was like $10-ish. Job was busy busy busy but otherwise comfortable (shift work, no manual labor, no homework, sit in front screen all day, great team environment, tonnes of upward options throughout the organization for motivated individuals). Try rogers, bell, or telus career pages, etc.

I remember way back when I started there was alot of youngsters like me but also lots of older folks who were going through career changes due to downsizing, layoffs, or who had arts degrees with no hope of relevant employment :-)

If you can't get your foot in the door contact an employment agency as they are incentivized to find you work (manpower, kelly services, randstad, etc).
User avatar
Nov 29, 2014
31 posts
Toronto, ON
Hi OP ...I hear you, I think most of us have been there at one point or another in our lives. It can be really demoralizing and debilitating to have such a frustrating job search, and getting depressed is a common fallout. While some people are better at not taking things personally, I'm someone that tends to internalize things like that, even when the hiring manager knows nothing about me I could take it as a personal statement against me that I didn't get an interview, the job, etc. Some of us are not as thick skinned as others.

That being said, it can be incredibly difficult during times like this to step back and see the bigger picture. And the bigger picture is that at the end of the day, a job is just that....a job. It doesn't love you, it won't keep you warm at night, it won't be there for you when you're sick. It's a means to an end to live your life. Of course you want your job and career to be meaningful as much as you can, but at the end of the day most of us are only working to support our lives. I'm sure it's tough financially for you right now, but I guarantee you that your wife would not care at all about any of that if there was any risk that she would lose you. Your family and friends would feel the same. So please realize that you are so much more than your job, you are so so valuable to the people who love you.

Can you talk with your wife about how you've been feeling? I'm sure she would be supportive of you and would want you to tell her everything. You are a will work through this together.
User avatar
Jun 8, 2008
3977 posts
My husband has been out of work before. He's not my husband because he works and earns a wage. He's my husband because I love him no matter what, and I need him in my life no matter what. We are a partnership - he enables my success, I enable his but sometimes, one of us does more of the heavy lifting than the other.

Please talk to your wife, and talk to a professional.
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
Dec 27, 2009
7617 posts
Victoria, BC
OP, as others have said you need to seek help. Don't use such a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life has meaning! Can you imagine what an awful time you will be putting your loved ones through if you ended it?
User avatar
Dec 5, 2016
79 posts
Don't give up OP. Had a terrible boss and quit without any job prospects. I applied everyday for almost 6 months (imagine savings going out the drain paying for rent, car, insurance, food and gas - it was horrifying to say the least).

Managed to get an interview on the 6th month and got that job and I'm still here now.

Hold on OP and don't give up, just continue applying. Talk to friends and your wife to ease the mental stress. You'll land a job eventually.
Jr. Member
Feb 11, 2015
122 posts
East York, ON
Just hang in there. Keep on looking for job and also keep on upgrading your skills.

What kind of job are you looking for?
Jr. Member
Feb 7, 2018
155 posts
Toronto ON
Dude (OP), instead of complaining, sit and analyse where you might improve your job search process and take the needed time to do it. No idea how much time you are unemployed, but in Canada, especially Toronto is not easy. Just don't take my words lightly, because I've been unemployed 7 months, before getting my current job. And before I had another 7 month period of unemployment once. And I am a newcomer to Canada (landed 7y ago), so for me was not easy at all.

General advice:
  • A well targeted approach is a realistic chance for a phone call
  • A good written resume is a half-won interview
  • A good business attire is a quart-won interview
  • Good presentation and self-promotion skills are a half-won interview
  • If your skills are not relevant or not enough qualified - invest time and some saved money and upgrade
While the rest are very clear and pretty self-explanatory, the first one concerns where and how you approach the prospective employers. Which is like for a house cleaning job don't approach people on LinkedIn and the opposite - for a management job don't approach people on Kijiji/CL. I basically did all of these things, especially because when I landed got very much pissed with the "Canadian experience" question, so I had to switch to a higher gear and reinvent myself a bit.

Good luck.


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