Parenting & Family

Moral dilemma? What would you do?

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Aug 10, 2013
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Moral dilemma? What would you do?

So your close friend asks you to babysit her autistic child for a short period of time, child has severe behavioural issues but it’s your friend you help them out. If the child knocks over your new flat screen tv and breaks the stand (not the tv) would you tell your friend? Keeping in mind you fully intended on mounting the tv anyway. Is this something to tell your friend and try to make a light joke of it ie. at least he didn’t break the tv haha? Or would you not tell them anything at all and say that little Timmy was a peach, lol curious to get your opinions
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Dec 4, 2010
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Quarantine Bubble
Don't tell unless in the recess of your mind (which I suspect, hence the thread) want compensation (money, apology, acknowledgement, etc).


You asked.
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Dec 21, 2010
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GTA
Supercooled wrote: Don't tell unless in the recess of your mind (which I suspect, hence the thread) want compensation (money, apology, acknowledgement, etc).


You asked.
Agreed. Child did it in error, not with malicious intent.
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Dec 27, 2013
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Woodbridge
I'd report it just as information but make it clear that you're not expecting anything (assuming you're not) and are happy to watch the child again (assuming you are) but that you wanted to pass along your observations.
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Oct 1, 2011
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If Timmy had a fit and broke the stand while acting out, and she asked, I'd mention that he had a fit (but not the stand, because who cares about it.)

If it was an accident while playing, etc. I wouldn't mention it.

I'm not into lying, even white lies...only when they are sure to hurt someone's feelings and I don't see that here.
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Jun 3, 2005
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Interesting. As a parent, I would have been more involved in the child-proofing of your home before allowing it to happen. Our Prize winning hellspawns are healthy & well & we would still be very keen to qualify the surroundings they will spend time in. As a parent with an autistic child, I am frankly stunned she didn't bother to point out that you may want to secure any valuables or fragile items.

THAT SAID. Legally...I wonder if the parent is 100% liable for any damages. As a friend, I would mention it, but as above - say you're not expecting any compensation. If she volunteers an amount over half, say hey let's just split it.

Ohhhh., just the stand....heck., depending on how much it is worth & how close you are to the family, just take it on the chin and be content it wasn't the tv.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: You may want to brush up on your child-care skills for autistic children (if you can specify which specifics, that will help your moral & practical decision making process down the road if you truly want to babysit again).
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Feb 1, 2005
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At the very least, let the friend know as an FYI.

The next person who babysits may care more about their stand or may not be so lucky that it was only the stand that gets broken!
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Aug 2, 2010
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Here 'n There
don't make your friend feel bad, not to mention you should have child proofed.

move on as there is on moral dilemma here...
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Dec 27, 2007
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I would tell the parent! What if the child is hurt? The parent should at least be informed about all accidents.

Who cares about the stupid TV or the stand? You're talking about a few hundred to thousand dollars for the whole thing anyways
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Aug 17, 2009
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Careful. Did the child get injured? Did s/he have any bruises? If yes, you should report it to the parent, so that they are aware.

Should you ask for compensation for the damaged TV stand? No. When you accepted to babysit, you also accepted the risks. The optics would look very bad.
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May 18, 2009
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Richmond Hill
if the tv broke, i'd be like "what child?"
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Dec 4, 2010
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Quarantine Bubble
She's only asking if mentioning it to the parent would seem 'uncouth' (my word, not hers... obviously).

In reality, any sugar coating will always come off as an attempt to guilt trip the parent into apologizing and or offer monetary compensation due to polite etiquette.
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Oct 13, 2009
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Supercooled wrote: She's only asking if mentioning it to the parent would seem 'uncouth' (my word, not hers... obviously).

In reality, any sugar coating will always come off as an attempt to guilt trip the parent into apologizing and or offer monetary compensation due to polite etiquette.
thumbs up for using the word uncouth in a sentence
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Aug 10, 2013
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Corleone187 wrote: I would tell the parent! What if the child is hurt? The parent should at least be informed about all accidents.

Who cares about the stupid TV or the stand? You're talking about a few hundred to thousand dollars for the whole thing anyways
So one of your friends kids can come to your house and break a 1k item and you wouldn’t care? LOL OK baller
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bubble.tea wrote: Interesting. As a parent, I would have been more involved in the child-proofing of your home before allowing it to happen. Our Prize winning hellspawns are healthy & well & we would still be very keen to qualify the surroundings they will spend time in. As a parent with an autistic child, I am frankly stunned she didn't bother to point out that you may want to secure any valuables or fragile items.

THAT SAID. Legally...I wonder if the parent is 100% liable for any damages. As a friend, I would mention it, but as above - say you're not expecting any compensation. If she volunteers an amount over half, say hey let's just split it.

Ohhhh., just the stand....heck., depending on how much it is worth & how close you are to the family, just take it on the chin and be content it wasn't the tv.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: You may want to brush up on your child-care skills for autistic children (if you can specify which specifics, that will help your moral & practical decision making process down the road if you truly want to babysit again).
My home is childproof and I have 2 autistic kids of my own that is no excuse they still know how to behave themselves in my house and other people’s homes. The gall to ask someone to do you a favour to watch your kid and then tell them they shouldve child proofed their home better? Bright. Teach your Kid how to behave. When mine couldn’t behave I simply didn’t leave them anywhere.
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Dec 27, 2007
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Heavenleigh85 wrote: So one of your friends kids can come to your house and break a 1k item and you wouldn’t care? LOL OK baller
It has to be relative.

If a lil kid collides with a TV I wouldn't even worry about the TV. There are so many other problems. A lot of injuries don't show up on the surface or right away.

If the kid dies a week later you could be accused of being a munchausen by proxyer!

I just feel like you should be hugging the kid instead of :D :

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May 17, 2005
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Heavenleigh85 wrote: Lmao.
also if you say nothing - you may be expected to "help" again , but if you politely explain what happen and that you are not up to the "job" for the future "help" ...
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Dec 11, 2003
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I think you can tell the parent but as others have said tell them that it's OK because you were going to mount the TV anyways and that you just wanted to let them know. I would want to know if my son broke something.

If I were in your shoes then I would let my friend know but if it was no big deal I would tell them not to worry.
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lubmar wrote: also if you say nothing - you may be expected to "help" again , but if you politely explain what happen and that you are not up to the "job" for the future "help" ...
Thanks for this lol. This was my intention I have made it clear that this is not something I’m up for as my hands are already full with my own litter. But in emergencies I don’t mind helping, it just seems these “emergencies” are happening far too often.

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