Parenting & Family

Parents - Can you share your sleeping advice/experience please

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  • Jan 22nd, 2018 7:00 pm
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My son barely napped until about the age of 2.5, up until then we were lucky if he got two 30 minute naps throughout the day. He has always been an early riser no matter what time he went to bed and has always slept about 20% less than the "Normal child sleep patterns".
It sucks, but in the end some kids just don't sleep as much and some start to later on.
If it gives you any solace - children that sleep less as infants have statistically showed signs of giftedness. I thought it was hooey and told my wife to help bring some join to her sleep deprived life...tunrs out, our child is now in the gifted program.
Make what you will of that but the bottom line is, keep doing what you need to do (routine, bed at a reasonable time, keep trying for naps) - it'll all work out in the end.
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Jakinthe wrote: YES I would love some input please.

Baby used to sleep OK but always nursed to sleep. Afterwards we learnt that that was a big no no and so sleep trained to stop the habit. He used to sleep on the breast too, and still does try to during the day, or anytime he is really sleepy (it seems to "refresh" him)

After more sleep training, it seems things are actually getting a little worse, even though the baby now sleeps 8-10 hours before waking for a feed.

1. He is ravenous at about 3:30-5am and drinks for half an hour (used to be a few minutes) and then needs another 20 minutes to fall back asleep - so it seems like this actually dents his sleeping quite a bit
2. He then wakes again after 3 hours, ravenous again
3. Now BF every 3 hours - seemingly really hungry each time. Used to go for 4 hours +
4. Always refuses to sleep/nap - well almost always. Cries at each nap and cries for 10 minutes at bedtime, unless someone goes in to sooth and put a comforting hand etc.
5. Sometimes wakes a few times the last few days during the night, just to cry until someone goes in and soothes
6. Is VERY overtired - has huge bags, motion is slower but still refuses to nap

7. I was told that for this age, wake times should be 2 hours then 2.25 hours (nap 2), 2.25 hours (nap 3) and 2.5 hours (bedtime)
But he fights the last nap in particular and cries at the first too - before sleep training, he was pretty good (didn't cry etc) and only fought the last nap.
8. IWehave no idea how to get him out of the overtired cycle, and not sure if we should try feeding him earlier in the night etc.

Basically we are both confused and my wife is frantic and down, which causes me a lot of stress too. Baby is beautiful and cheerful but we so want the baby to be well rested as well so he can thrive to his best. Any advice or tips or perspective would help.
There is a huge amount of variability depending on the baby and parents habits and routines. #7 is ridiculous. There is no way all babies should have anywhere near such a similar schedule.

We are on our third baby and none of them slept more than 5 hours in a row consistently before the age of 1. Even 18 months for the most part. We do some mild sleep training but generally try to avoid it which some will say is why our kids take longer to sleep all night. This is probably true but once they get to age 2 there isn't any issues with being scared in the night or coming to our room because sleep is comforting to them. Each family and for the most part mom needs to decide what works for them. Don't try to measure yourself against some standard.
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sherman51 wrote: My son barely napped until about the age of 2.5, up until then we were lucky if he got two 30 minute naps throughout the day. He has always been an early riser no matter what time he went to bed and has always slept about 20% less than the "Normal child sleep patterns".
It sucks, but in the end some kids just don't sleep as much and some start to later on.
If it gives you any solace - children that sleep less as infants have statistically showed signs of giftedness. I thought it was hooey and told my wife to help bring some join to her sleep deprived life...tunrs out, our child is now in the gifted program.
Make what you will of that but the bottom line is, keep doing what you need to do (routine, bed at a reasonable time, keep trying for naps) - it'll all work out in the end.
Thanks for the comforting words, sherman - our baby wouldn't nap if he didn't have to but he needs the breast for a "mini perk up" - like a supersonic fast power nap. It's weird. Was you son cranky or hyper without napping? Our one starts laughing a LOT!
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titaniumtux wrote: 10-12 hours. 8pm to 7am usually, so probably 11 hours on average.

I usually get six hours sleep. Tonight's the exception, where we all stay up and sing Kumbaya.

Got a gamepad for my phone, so there's no shortage of boredom busters :lol:
How lucky! My wife can't go back to sleep after night feeds so it gets her down having a max 4 hour wake time.
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fogetmylogin wrote: There is a huge amount of variability depending on the baby and parents habits and routines. #7 is ridiculous. There is no way all babies should have anywhere near such a similar schedule.

We are on our third baby and none of them slept more than 5 hours in a row consistently before the age of 1. Even 18 months for the most part. We do some mild sleep training but generally try to avoid it which some will say is why our kids take longer to sleep all night. This is probably true but once they get to age 2 there isn't any issues with being scared in the night or coming to our room because sleep is comforting to them. Each family and for the most part mom needs to decide what works for them. Don't try to measure yourself against some standard.
How do you know then when to put them down for a nap? Our boy doesn't want to sleep - is always exploring, playing, moving. But I also know he is tired.

Your last paragraphs are wise, and you are right, I worry I am creating some bad aversions, I just don't know how to turn back time on all this.
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Kayceern wrote: A lot of sites define STTN as 5 hour stretch or more.

Can you post your entire routine? Are you following feeding after waking? I’ll PM you.
Thank you Kayceern:

Approximately this -

6:30-7:30 wake up (usually 12 hours after sleep time)
6:35-7:35 Breast feed 1 and diaper upon wake up

2 hours later - First nap
e.g. if we go by 7:30 wake up then

9:30 - 10 nap 1
10:30 BF 2
10-12:15 play time (sometimes gets solids during this time, sometimes later)
12:20-12:50 nap 2
12:50-15:05 play time including solids 1 (gets 2 servings of solids a day)
14:00 BF 3
17:00 BF 4
18:00 BF, night routine, sleep

It's kind of messed up but basically:

- Feeds every 3-4 hours. If there are no overnight feeds (during a 8-10 hour period) then baby likes to eat every 3 hours, otherwise every 4 hours is OK
- Diapers changed throughout day - whenever wet - including morning nappy has about 4-6 wet diapers a day
- Two servings of solids interspersed. Usually try to feed one hour after BF if possible
- We were told to stick to 2/2.25/2.25/2.5 in a very regimented way but basically the baby is just getting worse in sleeping and I think he has an aversion to the crib which is why he will come out of a nap and immediately jump up (no kidding) to "call us".
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Jakinthe wrote: - We were told to stick to 2/2.25/2.25/2.5 in a very regimented way but basically the baby is just getting worse in sleeping and I think he has an aversion to the crib which is why he will come out of a nap and immediately jump up (no kidding) to "call us".
That’s great that you’re not feeding to sleep - the most common prop. Do you rock to sleep or any other prop? Other than trying to extend awake time, I would also teach/help him get through the 30min sleep transition by doing wake to sleep. It could also be habitual. https://babywhispererforums.com/index.p ... c=223809.0

Also, maybe it’s an error but there must be a third nap there somewhere right? That’s a long time to be awake before bedtime.
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Other parents (worldwide) with same issue - https://babywhispererforums.com/index.p ... 0200.0;all

I did too. Pick up/put down didn’t work for us. I did WTS but didn’t work for weeks because of not enough awake (A) time. After I kept extending was when my baby finally slept from 30-37mins to 2+ hours. Tweak first nap first then tackle the next ones. If they had a good night sleep, the first A time is usually the longest because they’re well rested.
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Jakinthe wrote: How lucky! My wife can't go back to sleep after night feeds so it gets her down having a max 4 hour wake time.
My wife sleeps 8-9 hours per night now. Before ours reached six months, sleep was scarce and we'd nap whenever possible.
Jakinthe wrote: How do you know then when to put them down for a nap? Our boy doesn't want to sleep - is always exploring, playing, moving. But I also know he is tired.

Your last paragraphs are wise, and you are right, I worry I am creating some bad aversions, I just don't know how to turn back time on all this.
Rock 'em to sleep if you absolutely need a consistent routine. Honestly, we rock ours to sleep because we need them to all sleep at the same time. Warm milk usually helps 'em fall asleep. If it were a singleton, we'd probably let 'em nap whenever the kid wants to nap, then power-nap at the same time. With multiples, if you let them nap whenever, parents will never get the chance to nap.
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Kayceern wrote: That’s great that you’re not feeding to sleep - the most common prop. Do you rock to sleep or any other prop? Other than trying to extend awake time, I would also teach/help him get through the 30min sleep transition by doing wake to sleep. It could also be habitual. https://babywhispererforums.com/index.p ... c=223809.0

Also, maybe it’s an error but there must be a third nap there somewhere right? That’s a long time to be awake before bedtime.
Yes there is a third nap - oops missed it! It's abut 2.5 hours before bed time. Thanks for the tips, Kayceern. We will try it it out :smile:
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titaniumtux wrote: My wife sleeps 8-9 hours per night now. Before ours reached six months, sleep was scarce and we'd nap whenever possible.



Rock 'em to sleep if you absolutely need a consistent routine. Honestly, we rock ours to sleep because we need them to all sleep at the same time. Warm milk usually helps 'em fall asleep. If it were a singleton, we'd probably let 'em nap whenever the kid wants to nap, then power-nap at the same time. With multiples, if you let them nap whenever, parents will never get the chance to nap.
Very true. We tried rocking him the last few days and he squirms - it's quite funny. I think he just wants the breast or the bed. Will keep trying.
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Jakinthe wrote: Very true. We tried rocking him the last few days and he squirms - it's quite funny. I think he just wants the breast or the bed. Will keep trying.
Do what you gotta do. They can squirm all they want when being rocked, they eventually fall asleep (can take a while though).
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titaniumtux wrote: Do what you gotta do. They can squirm all they want when being rocked, they eventually fall asleep (can take a while though).
I tried this and it worked for one of his naps! Thanks @titaniumtux
Last edited by titaniumtux on Jan 13th, 2018 11:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Fixed tag
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Jakinthe wrote: I tried this and it worked for one of his naps! Thanks @titaniumtux
+1
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Jakinthe wrote: Hi, we have two children. The older was a breeze at sleeping. But the younger one who is now 6 and 1/2 months old is much more "dynamic". My question is related to sleeping through the night, and night feedings. My wife is very sleep deprived and is getting depressed.

You have to make sure you keep a routine - each and every day, same time for sleep, no exceptions or that's when the problems happen.

Also, as for day time sleep, try to keep the naps at a standard time, ideally early/mid-afternoon so they'll be tired for the evening.

Also don't over exhaust your child ... that can also cause sleep issues, they maybe too wound up to sleep at night. So by 7 or 8PM, time to slow it down with the younger one so they get into a nice sleep routine.

But yeah. don't expect your child to sleep consistently well ... things change, like new teeth, cold, etc. that maybe causing them not to sleep well.
Last edited by coolspot on Jan 19th, 2018 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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coolspot wrote: You have to make sure you keep a routine - each and every day, same time for sleep, no exceptions or that's when the problems happen.

Also, as for day time sleep, try to keep the names at a standard time, ideally early/mid-afternoon so they'll be tired for the evening.

Also don't over exhaust your child ... that can also cause sleep issues, they maybe too wound up to sleep at night. So by 7 or 8PM, time to slow it down with the younger one so they get into a nice sleep routine.

But yeah. don't expect your child to sleep consistently well ... things change, like new teeth, cold, etc. that maybe causing them not to sleep well.
Thank you. I read that for 6-7 month olds, it's not the time I should fixate, but waking hours. For example, every 2-3 hours put down for a nap.

I have heard if they go for more than 3 hours they are overtired.

That said! baby IS extremely overtired. He will go down for a nap (kicking and screaming or sometimes not) and then "jump up" after 20-35 minutes and look for us/cry until we pick him up. Then he spends the day acting hyper and laughing like a camel (it hurts me because I know he is just tired).

May I ask what your routine was at around 7 months?

J/
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My son used to wake up after about 45 mins into the nap so something I did was to go in his room at around 40 mins and wait until I saw him moving like he was about to wake up, then I would immediately rub his back, pat his bum and do "shhh" to make him fall asleep again. Then he would sleep for another hour. I did that for about a week until he stopped waking up at 45mins and his nap lasted longer.

https://forums.redflagdeals.com/napping-2129591/
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Jakinthe wrote: May I ask what your routine was at around 7 months?
Wake up around 8AM / 9AM
Nap from 1PM to 4PM
Bedtime routine starts at 8PM - change diaper, shower, bottle (I think we still fed him at 7mos, can't remember), etc.
Bedtime from 8:30PM


Seemed to work OK for us.
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Thanks ckay and coolspot.

ckay - I tried the rubbing thing - but he sleeps on back so I rubbed chest. Result: eyes wide looking at me. Will try again lol

J/

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