Parenting & Family

Really successful work career and always on the Go, who watches your kids while your away?

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  • Mar 18th, 2020 3:00 pm
[OP]
Penalty Box
Jun 24, 2015
3875 posts
1141 upvotes
Woodbridge, ON

Really successful work career and always on the Go, who watches your kids while your away?

Lets say one parent could be husband or maybe the wife, has a very demanding and maybe successful job and is also active in the community. He or She goes to conferences, meetings, trade shows, visits clients, visits companies, has public presentations, etc. You are a very busy body, I know lots of people like this but no body talks about who the heck watches their kids? who does it? are some of these people rich enough that they have nannies and care givers to look after their kids day after day?

I WANT to move up in my career and do all these fun thngs, but the fact of the matter I have to rush home at 5pm to pick up my kids from school/day care, cook them dinner, help them with home work, read them books, and put them to bed, prevents me from joining any clubs or after work activities like meetings and conferences where the network possibilities may help boost my career. I put those opportunities on hold because of my kids but I see many people my age who have like 3 or more kids but theyre never home there always at these conferences and stuff like they have no disregard for their kids. does their wife or parter handle the brunt? eventually the partner will be burnt out by doing this all the time while theyre out and about having fun and networking and socializing, no?
Hi
19 replies
Jr. Member
Oct 19, 2010
151 posts
43 upvotes
Vancouver, BC
I personally know many people who essentially have their retired parents employed as full-time babysitters to be able to work longer hours and attend social events. Not everyone has this luxury so it's really a trade-off. Be slightly less successful in your career, and you get to have time to spend with your kids.To me, being home at 4-5pm on a daily basis and being able to spend time with my child is a great feeling, no matter how much less money I'm making or how less successful I am compared to the next guy.
Deal Fanatic
Sep 21, 2004
8421 posts
1203 upvotes
I gave up all career and personal ambitions when I has kids so I can't tell you exactly. I figured what good is it being "successful" career wise if I don't know my kids and my wife hates me and any money I made is going to child support and alimony.

Now I spend lots of time at home. I'm at the school often. I attend all lessons/sports/etc. It's great. I love it. The price is I'm a fat out of shape blob with no career potential. Lol. It's certainly not for everyone. It's a choice I think you have to make. Sure there's some in-between but I wasn't interested.
Deal Expert
User avatar
Nov 15, 2004
18924 posts
3292 upvotes
Toronto
WIth my friends who have kids, either the wife stays home full time, the grandparents help, or they send the kids away to daycares or hire nannies to raise the kids for them.
Deal Addict
Mar 24, 2015
1021 posts
391 upvotes
Ottawa, ON
My husband travels 3-4 times a year, etc, and I am the one who takes care of the kids. I'm lucky to have very flexible working hours and work from home 2-3 times a week.
I'm home all the pd days, every time they are sick, do the drop off and pick up in the morning. I had a very busy job before and was not able to do all that.

My husband's brother and wife has my in-laws staying with them and they have been babysitting since the 3 kids were babies, up until they started kindergarten, then march break, summer hols, pd days, sick days, etc. My sister in law travels frequently. She's barely at home and when she is, it's close to 7pm when the kids have been fed and taken care of by grandma. My brother in law doesn't do much, he's just happy his mom is there. Anyway, I don't agree with using grandparents like that as my in-laws are in their 80s. My husband and I also feel it's not right to ask them to look after our kids as they are already looking after their 3 kids. Don't want to add more work for them and we know they won't say no, we just don't like taking advantage of that. We ask them when we really don't have a choice like last year I think it was for 3 days total when my youngest was at the hospital.

So I made the choice of changing job and look for one close to home. I was ready to accept a job that would pay less just to have more time for the kids. My husband helps as much as he can. He occasionally works from home if he feels I'm tired. We also try to go with him on one of his business trips. For example if he's going to Edmonton, we get a room at WEM. I'm not a career minded person and doesn't care much about socializing, so I'm ok with how things are.
[OP]
Penalty Box
Jun 24, 2015
3875 posts
1141 upvotes
Woodbridge, ON
great points.

I had a job that i had 80-90% travel, it was fun at first then you get home sick, i was engaged to be married so i quit and it was the best decision of my life, cus i have kids now how would i take the kids to school and bring them home if im up north Ontario 8-10 hours away for the entie week.
Hi
Deal Expert
Aug 22, 2011
33709 posts
19497 upvotes
Ottawa
Still very successful and gave all of the "go" to the younger colleagues.
[OP]
Penalty Box
Jun 24, 2015
3875 posts
1141 upvotes
Woodbridge, ON
what does that even mean vkizzle?
Hi
Deal Addict
Nov 13, 2013
2292 posts
1095 upvotes
Ottawa
Well if demanding and successful means a high salary there is a lot of help you can get. A nanny is a great investment. Especially for the picking them up and making dinner part of your list. Reading to them and putting them to bed is key time. Lot's of uber successful people make sure to be there most nights in the 7-9 period. They then come back online and work more. Same in the morning. I got emails from a previous boss starting at 5 am. She is a single mom with no dad in the picture and goes offline 7-8 am or so and the same in the evening. Full-time nanny even though kids are in school means most of the mundane tasks are taken care of.

As for clubs and the like I don't see how that is priority when you have a youngish family.
Deal Expert
Aug 22, 2011
33709 posts
19497 upvotes
Ottawa
GoodFellaz wrote: what does that even mean vkizzle?
It means as a senior in my company, I can assign my direct reports and junior PMs travel assignments.
Deal Addict
User avatar
Mar 29, 2008
3387 posts
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I would have been happy, as would have my parents, to have them be involved regularly on a daily basis, but my wife wanted to be with the kids, so she pretty much gave up her (relatively well paying) career. Works for us.
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
Sep 13, 2005
6829 posts
338 upvotes
Ottawa
fogetmylogin wrote: Well if demanding and successful means a high salary there is a lot of help you can get. A nanny is a great investment. Especially for the picking them up and making dinner part of your list. Reading to them and putting them to bed is key time. Lot's of uber successful people make sure to be there most nights in the 7-9 period. They then come back online and work more. Same in the morning. I got emails from a previous boss starting at 5 am. She is a single mom with no dad in the picture and goes offline 7-8 am or so and the same in the evening. Full-time nanny even though kids are in school means most of the mundane tasks are taken care of.

As for clubs and the like I don't see how that is priority when you have a youngish family.
+1
Also what is "successful" to you? All senior level colleagues of mine have a nanny. The nanny will do the pickups, some household chores, and/maybe dinner. They go home, eat together with kids then put them to bed. They are back online after the kids are sleeping. On days where there is a work event in the evening then nanny is there if they are a single parent. They also prefer two nannies to spread out risk that if their nanny gets sick they aren't screwed and pretty much a backup is available but those are my single parent colleagues and we're talking about VP+ levels at a large organization. You make it work and if you make enough then why on earth wouldn't you? For colleagues that don't have a nanny.....SAHM or SAHD. Usually the earning potential for the SAHM or SAHD is significantly lower so they essentially are putting all eggs in one basket. To let the breadwinner of the house go chase the money and provide for the family, the good old way.

Kids activities......it's a personal choice. Your kid does not need to go to an insane amount of activities to learn different skills. I had a colleague of mine that used to complain about his weekend taxi'ing his son around for hockey and how expensive it is. I listened for years till one day I got sick of it and ask him how GOOD his son is in hockey? What's the ROI? He was so taken aback by my question and gave the generic one (that's also posted many time here as well) that it's building teamwork skills, learning to collaborate, life skills, endurance even though he's not THAT good in hockey etc. So I asked him if his son is STILL learning teamwork, collaboration, endurance after 10+ years while sucking his bank account dry? Sorry but if 10+ years and those are still just skills his son is gaining....'sigh' go chase after a sport or hobby that's actually something this child excels at vs be mediocre at something just cause everyone else is doing it and it's an 'activity'.
Deal Fanatic
Feb 9, 2009
9196 posts
6760 upvotes
fogetmylogin wrote: Well if demanding and successful means a high salary there is a lot of help you can get. A nanny is a great investment. Especially for the picking them up and making dinner part of your list. Reading to them and putting them to bed is key time. Lot's of uber successful people make sure to be there most nights in the 7-9 period. They then come back online and work more. Same in the morning. I got emails from a previous boss starting at 5 am. She is a single mom with no dad in the picture and goes offline 7-8 am or so and the same in the evening. Full-time nanny even though kids are in school means most of the mundane tasks are taken care of.

As for clubs and the like I don't see how that is priority when you have a youngish family.
What life are you living if you're just working all the time? What is wrong with people wasting their entire lives working and not getting to raise their kids and having some stranger do it...
Deal Expert
User avatar
Jul 5, 2004
24857 posts
4139 upvotes
setell wrote: +1
Also what is "successful" to you? All senior level colleagues of mine have a nanny. The nanny will do the pickups, some household chores, and/maybe dinner. They go home, eat together with kids then put them to bed. They are back online after the kids are sleeping. On days where there is a work event in the evening then nanny is there if they are a single parent. They also prefer two nannies to spread out risk that if their nanny gets sick they aren't screwed and pretty much a backup is available but those are my single parent colleagues and we're talking about VP+ levels at a large organization. You make it work and if you make enough then why on earth wouldn't you? For colleagues that don't have a nanny.....SAHM or SAHD. Usually the earning potential for the SAHM or SAHD is significantly lower so they essentially are putting all eggs in one basket. To let the breadwinner of the house go chase the money and provide for the family, the good old way.

Kids activities......it's a personal choice. Your kid does not need to go to an insane amount of activities to learn different skills. I had a colleague of mine that used to complain about his weekend taxi'ing his son around for hockey and how expensive it is. I listened for years till one day I got sick of it and ask him how GOOD his son is in hockey? What's the ROI? He was so taken aback by my question and gave the generic one (that's also posted many time here as well) that it's building teamwork skills, learning to collaborate, life skills, endurance even though he's not THAT good in hockey etc. So I asked him if his son is STILL learning teamwork, collaboration, endurance after 10+ years while sucking his bank account dry? Sorry but if 10+ years and those are still just skills his son is gaining....'sigh' go chase after a sport or hobby that's actually something this child excels at vs be mediocre at something just cause everyone else is doing it and it's an 'activity'.
Maybe the kid really enjoys it. It's not all about return on investment. Not everything is about money
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
Nov 13, 2010
6709 posts
1229 upvotes
Scarborough
We can’t imagine having someone stranger raise or care for our kids. Either you do it yourself or dont have kids if career is so damn important
Corporations dont give an eff. You could be their champion employee but you can be let go anytime.....for any reason or no reason

There is absolutely no reason to slave away and lose precious time with children. That nanny is doing it for money you really think they CARE for your child like you do?

If people dump their kids on nannies, guess what when you’re old they will dump you in old age homes with nannies and nannas too as they will dump you asap

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