SENSITIVE TOPIC - Child Support for 18+ in ON & Possible Lawyer "Malpractice"
I know this is a very sensitive and controversial subject to many. This is not "my" personal situation, but someone I have been close with for many, many years. We'll call this person "Jodi". Jodi is the payer parent. Jodi was never married to the other parent; not that it matters much but worth noting because *some* situations do change in that instance.
This will be lengthy, so consider that a warning.
I have tried to do some extensive research/reading on family law, child support, etc to provide Jody with some facts and situations that I've read about. Jodi is not much of a reader/researched as I am. Jodi had retained a lawyer not long ago, but it's become apparent that this *new* lawyer (only been practicing for a few years) does not have much (if any) experience dealing with similar cases. Jodi let me in on the emails and texts and allowed me to read the forms that were submitted to the court. The lawyer didn't know who/where to forward the court papers to with FRO (Jodi had to explain how). I helped Jodi prepare a "statement of facts" for the lawyer to help with some details to make his job easier & he used them all in the court forms almost verbatim (am I that good? LOL). Also, the lawyer was not honest and forthcoming with what Jodi should expect with the proceedings, the possible outcome & did not seem to know all of the forms that needed to be submitted to the court. He told Jodi that the court documents were rejected went he sent them in because a financial disclosure was not present (* Note - Jodi just learned from these events that the law changed since their ruling around the end of the century & financials were supposed to be submitted voluntarily per the *new* law, every year. Does the gov't send out letters regarding this? Are payers expected to regularly read the gov't website? Do you think they would think of it? The other parent didn't try to request this information throughout all the years, so if the person is honestly unaware, then how are they blameworthy?? **). Anyway, if Jodi "fires" the lawyer, Jodi is out $5k (that was painstakingly scrounged together with alot of O/T).
Jodi has to submit C.S. payments to FRO - which has been done willingly and without complaint for many years, on time and in full. Due to circumstances somewhat beyond Jodi's control, there hadn't been a relationship with the child in over 15 years. The other parent moved from the last known address, and there really was no way for Jodi to find out where. Jodi did not have court ordered access and they had no mutual friends. The child, now in their early 20's, contacted Jodi out of the blue. They talked for a while (and that was about the last of their communication for some reason. I'm told the reunion was tear-jerking and went very well). Jodi discover that the child had willingly withdrew from parental control after high school and moved to another city with their boy/girlfriend. They still reside there, but without the "other" (I think). The child divulged that they were working a couple of jobs part-time and received OSAP for a post-secondary 2-yr program (now completed). After hearing all of this information, Jodi had to wonder "why hadn't the other parent contacted FRO to advise that the child voluntarily removed themself from parental control?" (kind of a dumb question we know) The child did not immediately attend college after high school. In doing the math, there seems to be about 1-1/2 - 2 yr gap before starting the program.
Jodi submitted the form to cancel C.S. to FRO. The other parent disagreed so Jodi kept paying. Jodi submitted the form again, and again the other parent disagreed so Jodi kept paying. After these attempts, and a big pep talk, Jodi called FRO to explain the situation and advised them of the information that came right from 'the colt's mouth", but that didn't matter. The recipient is right no matter what, so put up and shut up, essentially. They did, however, let it "slip" that the child decided to register for another course (or program) a full semester after graduating (so they graduated during 2nd semester, first semester went by; no school, Jodi tries to cancel support and is told there's suddenly a registry for school. The child still does not live at home). The child did not go to school for a "high end" profession - per-say. It doesn't require an undergrad or bachelor's, or continuing education, but kudos to the kid for wanting to keep learning. That's not a bad thing at all!
Enter the lawyer ....... (we'll not go there again).
So, Jodi still feels that C.S. shouldn't continue to be paid regardless. The child left home after high school and it was not to be closer to college. If the child needs "help" or "assistance", Jodi will help if asked without a doubt, but doesn't feel the child needs to be "supported" anymore. The child openly admitted they were financially independent (but are they ever really? LOL) Jodi, however, is apprehensive that if this goes to court, and because of not knowing about the annual disclosure, that there will be a ruling against and an arrears owing. Jodi is worried that the other parent may "fudge" school transcripts to prove the gap between schooling as well as "fudge" the child's address since they left home (or conveniently omit information). Jodi has small children from a new relationship to care for as well (one with a disability) and doesn't want to put them in "harm's way". Jodi is tempted to let the sleeping giant rest for a couple more years and then try to cancel again. The child will be in mid-20's then. I have no opinion to offer Jodi on this. I just worry about Jodi's well-being and mental health and that of the young children and spouse. Yes, the other parent works, but they're combined income is pretty modest (middle). With how things are inflating so fast these days, it could create quite a hardship. If Jodi takes this to court, it's known there is a good chance the other parent may drag it out as long as possible to hit Jodi in the "purse strings", and make it as dirty and personal as they can. Jodi doesn't want or need that but is so afraid of getting a judge who's "in a mood" or wants to "make an example", and won't take the evidence that came from the child seriously.
Any advice? Wisdom? First hand experience? Suggestions? (other than find another lawyer? LOL)
Just a mention - I have sat on both sides of the fence, so I get it from both sides. Jodi has always been compliant with support rules, and has never tried to find a way to not pay. Had Jodi been aware of the changes that came about, Jodi would have done as told because Jodi is that kind of person (a rule follower - afraid of the repercussions of pissing anyone off and avoids confrontation like a plague).
Thank your for your time and attention.
This will be lengthy, so consider that a warning.
I have tried to do some extensive research/reading on family law, child support, etc to provide Jody with some facts and situations that I've read about. Jodi is not much of a reader/researched as I am. Jodi had retained a lawyer not long ago, but it's become apparent that this *new* lawyer (only been practicing for a few years) does not have much (if any) experience dealing with similar cases. Jodi let me in on the emails and texts and allowed me to read the forms that were submitted to the court. The lawyer didn't know who/where to forward the court papers to with FRO (Jodi had to explain how). I helped Jodi prepare a "statement of facts" for the lawyer to help with some details to make his job easier & he used them all in the court forms almost verbatim (am I that good? LOL). Also, the lawyer was not honest and forthcoming with what Jodi should expect with the proceedings, the possible outcome & did not seem to know all of the forms that needed to be submitted to the court. He told Jodi that the court documents were rejected went he sent them in because a financial disclosure was not present (* Note - Jodi just learned from these events that the law changed since their ruling around the end of the century & financials were supposed to be submitted voluntarily per the *new* law, every year. Does the gov't send out letters regarding this? Are payers expected to regularly read the gov't website? Do you think they would think of it? The other parent didn't try to request this information throughout all the years, so if the person is honestly unaware, then how are they blameworthy?? **). Anyway, if Jodi "fires" the lawyer, Jodi is out $5k (that was painstakingly scrounged together with alot of O/T).
Jodi has to submit C.S. payments to FRO - which has been done willingly and without complaint for many years, on time and in full. Due to circumstances somewhat beyond Jodi's control, there hadn't been a relationship with the child in over 15 years. The other parent moved from the last known address, and there really was no way for Jodi to find out where. Jodi did not have court ordered access and they had no mutual friends. The child, now in their early 20's, contacted Jodi out of the blue. They talked for a while (and that was about the last of their communication for some reason. I'm told the reunion was tear-jerking and went very well). Jodi discover that the child had willingly withdrew from parental control after high school and moved to another city with their boy/girlfriend. They still reside there, but without the "other" (I think). The child divulged that they were working a couple of jobs part-time and received OSAP for a post-secondary 2-yr program (now completed). After hearing all of this information, Jodi had to wonder "why hadn't the other parent contacted FRO to advise that the child voluntarily removed themself from parental control?" (kind of a dumb question we know) The child did not immediately attend college after high school. In doing the math, there seems to be about 1-1/2 - 2 yr gap before starting the program.
Jodi submitted the form to cancel C.S. to FRO. The other parent disagreed so Jodi kept paying. Jodi submitted the form again, and again the other parent disagreed so Jodi kept paying. After these attempts, and a big pep talk, Jodi called FRO to explain the situation and advised them of the information that came right from 'the colt's mouth", but that didn't matter. The recipient is right no matter what, so put up and shut up, essentially. They did, however, let it "slip" that the child decided to register for another course (or program) a full semester after graduating (so they graduated during 2nd semester, first semester went by; no school, Jodi tries to cancel support and is told there's suddenly a registry for school. The child still does not live at home). The child did not go to school for a "high end" profession - per-say. It doesn't require an undergrad or bachelor's, or continuing education, but kudos to the kid for wanting to keep learning. That's not a bad thing at all!
Enter the lawyer ....... (we'll not go there again).
So, Jodi still feels that C.S. shouldn't continue to be paid regardless. The child left home after high school and it was not to be closer to college. If the child needs "help" or "assistance", Jodi will help if asked without a doubt, but doesn't feel the child needs to be "supported" anymore. The child openly admitted they were financially independent (but are they ever really? LOL) Jodi, however, is apprehensive that if this goes to court, and because of not knowing about the annual disclosure, that there will be a ruling against and an arrears owing. Jodi is worried that the other parent may "fudge" school transcripts to prove the gap between schooling as well as "fudge" the child's address since they left home (or conveniently omit information). Jodi has small children from a new relationship to care for as well (one with a disability) and doesn't want to put them in "harm's way". Jodi is tempted to let the sleeping giant rest for a couple more years and then try to cancel again. The child will be in mid-20's then. I have no opinion to offer Jodi on this. I just worry about Jodi's well-being and mental health and that of the young children and spouse. Yes, the other parent works, but they're combined income is pretty modest (middle). With how things are inflating so fast these days, it could create quite a hardship. If Jodi takes this to court, it's known there is a good chance the other parent may drag it out as long as possible to hit Jodi in the "purse strings", and make it as dirty and personal as they can. Jodi doesn't want or need that but is so afraid of getting a judge who's "in a mood" or wants to "make an example", and won't take the evidence that came from the child seriously.
Any advice? Wisdom? First hand experience? Suggestions? (other than find another lawyer? LOL)
Just a mention - I have sat on both sides of the fence, so I get it from both sides. Jodi has always been compliant with support rules, and has never tried to find a way to not pay. Had Jodi been aware of the changes that came about, Jodi would have done as told because Jodi is that kind of person (a rule follower - afraid of the repercussions of pissing anyone off and avoids confrontation like a plague).
Thank your for your time and attention.
