• Last Updated:
  • May 10th, 2020 11:06 pm
[OP]
Newbie
May 5, 2020
1 posts

Separation agreement

I divorced 4 years ago, my ex wife told me that will be ok to have one lawyer to sign separation agreement, we can split cost for lawyer. She found a lawyer who did agreement for us. On that time verbally we agreed that I’m going to pay 1100$ for child, it will include everything.After signed agreement I paid half cost and my ex paid half cost to lawyer.in agreement child support 360$and wife support 740$ so total 1100$. I trusted my ex and didn’t even read agreement ( was thinking it common procedur , everybody doing this),and that was my mistake. After 2-3 weeks I received email from lawyer where he said I must to pay on top of 1100$ extra ordinary expenses. When I started read agreement, I found really paragraph about extra ordinary expenses. I emailed back to lawyer that we agreed for 1100$ and it’s including everything. After that I did not receive any emails, and continue to pay 1100$. Right now I have lost my income and can’t pay that amount. I wrote letter to lawyer where I asked about review agreement, I sent cheque to my ex for 360$( child support only). In couple days I received email from my ex that she will bring me to court if I’m not paying rest 740$. Also she wrote that I owe her extra ordinary expenses for 4 years, and she will claim it. I’m really disappointed how people can use your trust and then put you down because of signature. On agreement was paragraph that we must split half and half our property things( couch, tv, kitchen stuff...). My ex wife took everything with her, didn’t share with me. It’s around 12000$ . Now I’m looking for lawyer to review agreement. The question is : is it normal to have one lawyer for both when you make agreement, paying him half price ( cash) for that. My ex never asked me my opinion about payment for extra ordinary expenses ( I didn’t even know where my daughter has activities, and how much). Now I have new family with child , wife doesn’t work. Any suggestion what to do in this case?
12 replies
Deal Guru
Aug 14, 2007
10863 posts
2001 upvotes
Toronto
Trofim wrote: I divorced 4 years ago, my ex wife told me that will be ok to have one lawyer to sign separation agreement, we can split cost for lawyer. She found a lawyer who did agreement for us. On that time verbally we agreed that I’m going to pay 1100$ for child, it will include everything.After signed agreement I paid half cost and my ex paid half cost to lawyer.in agreement child support 360$and wife support 740$ so total 1100$. I trusted my ex and didn’t even read agreement ( was thinking it common procedur , everybody doing this),and that was my mistake. After 2-3 weeks I received email from lawyer where he said I must to pay on top of 1100$ extra ordinary expenses. When I started read agreement, I found really paragraph about extra ordinary expenses. I emailed back to lawyer that we agreed for 1100$ and it’s including everything. After that I did not receive any emails, and continue to pay 1100$. Right now I have lost my income and can’t pay that amount. I wrote letter to lawyer where I asked about review agreement, I sent cheque to my ex for 360$( child support only). In couple days I received email from my ex that she will bring me to court if I’m not paying rest 740$. Also she wrote that I owe her extra ordinary expenses for 4 years, and she will claim it. I’m really disappointed how people can use your trust and then put you down because of signature. On agreement was paragraph that we must split half and half our property things( couch, tv, kitchen stuff...). My ex wife took everything with her, didn’t share with me. It’s around 12000$ . Now I’m looking for lawyer to review agreement. The question is : is it normal to have one lawyer for both when you make agreement, paying him half price ( cash) for that. My ex never asked me my opinion about payment for extra ordinary expenses ( I didn’t even know where my daughter has activities, and how much). Now I have new family with child , wife doesn’t work. Any suggestion what to do in this case?
Wall of text

Tl;DR ALWAYS READ WHAT YOU'RE SIGNING.

I have a feeling you're out of luck on this one.
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
Feb 19, 2010
6237 posts
2968 upvotes
XtremeModder wrote: Wall of text

Tl;DR ALWAYS READ WHAT YOU'RE SIGNING.

I have a feeling you're out of luck on this one.
Didn't read this nonsense either but agree with the sentiment. Don't sign shit that you haven't read first and to add to that don't come to RFD looking for legal advice
Last edited by Shaner on May 7th, 2020 7:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Rude
Deal Addict
Feb 4, 2010
4148 posts
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Conquistador wrote: Didn't read this nonsense either but agree with the sentiment. Don't sign shit that you haven't read first and to add to that don't come to RFD looking for legal advice
OP I know you came here looking for advice but your best bet is to check with your new lawyer otherwise you're just going to get opinions (not facts) and idiotic responses like this guy's.

We all make mistakes. All you can do is learn and grow from them. Good luck!
Last edited by Shaner on May 7th, 2020 7:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Quoted post has been edited
Sr. Member
Oct 17, 2008
580 posts
137 upvotes
Earth
there should also be an unprecedented clause in your agreement covering pandemic situation like this....instead of extraordinary cost....this could be subject to change in unprecedented times...:rolleyes:

What an expensive separation.....Face Screaming In Fear
Deal Guru
Aug 14, 2007
10863 posts
2001 upvotes
Toronto
hierophant wrote: OP I know you came here looking for advice but your best bet is to check with your new lawyer otherwise you're just going to get opinions (not facts) and idiotic responses like this guy's.

We all make mistakes. All you can do is learn and grow from them. Good luck!
It's not an idiotic response at all... It's truth.

What's idiotic is not reading what your signing.

When I was making my agreement, I made it incredibly fair, she read and signed it as did myself and 4 witnesses (2 on my side and 2 on her side).
Member
User avatar
Sep 16, 2015
335 posts
698 upvotes
Calgary, AB
Trofim wrote: I divorced 4 years ago, my ex wife told me that will be ok to have one lawyer to sign separation agreement, we can split cost for lawyer.
To create a legally binding separation agreement, you must review the document with your own lawyer before signing. This ensures that you (a) follow the law and (b) don't do something stupid.

Meet with your lawyer and listen very carefully to his/her advice.
Deal Guru
User avatar
Mar 23, 2008
11878 posts
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Edmonton
Trofim wrote: I divorced 4 years ago, my ex wife told me that will be ok to have one lawyer to sign separation agreement, we can split cost for lawyer. She found a lawyer who did agreement for us. On that time verbally we agreed that I’m going to pay 1100$ for child, it will include everything.After signed agreement I paid half cost and my ex paid half cost to lawyer.in agreement child support 360$and wife support 740$ so total 1100$. I trusted my ex and didn’t even read agreement ( was thinking it common procedur , everybody doing this),and that was my mistake. After 2-3 weeks I received email from lawyer where he said I must to pay on top of 1100$ extra ordinary expenses. When I started read agreement, I found really paragraph about extra ordinary expenses. I emailed back to lawyer that we agreed for 1100$ and it’s including everything. After that I did not receive any emails, and continue to pay 1100$. Right now I have lost my income and can’t pay that amount. I wrote letter to lawyer where I asked about review agreement, I sent cheque to my ex for 360$( child support only). In couple days I received email from my ex that she will bring me to court if I’m not paying rest 740$. Also she wrote that I owe her extra ordinary expenses for 4 years, and she will claim it. I’m really disappointed how people can use your trust and then put you down because of signature. On agreement was paragraph that we must split half and half our property things( couch, tv, kitchen stuff...). My ex wife took everything with her, didn’t share with me. It’s around 12000$ . Now I’m looking for lawyer to review agreement. The question is : is it normal to have one lawyer for both when you make agreement, paying him half price ( cash) for that. My ex never asked me my opinion about payment for extra ordinary expenses ( I didn’t even know where my daughter has activities, and how much). Now I have new family with child , wife doesn’t work. Any suggestion what to do in this case?
"Your" lawyer should have told you both to get "Independent legal advice". That's standard practice, especially when one lawyer is acting for both parties. And it's not uncommon to have one lawyer draft up an agreement, but you still need your own lawyer to advise you.

Second, it's common/normal for "extraordinary" expenses to be above and beyond child support amounts. But your ex should have been sending you receipts, identifying any extraordinary expenses as they happened (or even before, to discuss and get agreement on).

Third, you were a fool (no offense intended) for not reading and understanding the document before signing it.

Fourth, unilaterally deciding to stop paying spousal support is a good way to end up in a legal battle, and it won't look good when it gets to court.

Go get yourself a lawyer, and buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ride...

C
Deal Addict
Nov 10, 2018
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CNeufeld wrote: "Your" lawyer should have told you both to get "Independent legal advice". That's standard practice, especially when one lawyer is acting for both parties. And it's not uncommon to have one lawyer draft up an agreement, but you still need your own lawyer to advise you.

Second, it's common/normal for "extraordinary" expenses to be above and beyond child support amounts. But your ex should have been sending you receipts, identifying any extraordinary expenses as they happened (or even before, to discuss and get agreement on).

Third, you were a fool (no offense intended) for not reading and understanding the document before signing it.

Fourth, unilaterally deciding to stop paying spousal support is a good way to end up in a legal battle, and it won't look good when it gets to court.

Go get yourself a lawyer, and buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ride...

C
+1 to everything that was said. That said, the part missing is that there was a lack of full financial disclosure on the part of both parties, if I read that wall of text correctly. If so, and there was a material misrepresentation by either party, the separation agreement is worth about the same as a used N95 mask these days.
For legal topics and discussions, the opinion, guidance, and thoughts provided are my own and are not considered to be legal advice, in any manner.
Deal Addict
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Mar 29, 2008
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I call BS on those saying they read everything before signing - software agreements, apple update terms and conditions, pages of standard form real estate terms etc.
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Nov 10, 2018
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random pattern wrote: I call BS on those saying they read everything before signing - software agreements, apple update terms and conditions, pages of standard form real estate terms etc.
The implications of marriage, divorces, and as such, separation agreements, cohabitation agreements are significantly higher than Apple's updated T&Cs.

Sure, no one reads everything, but only idiots gloss over pieces of paper that literally govern how one's biggest assets and such are to be handled.
For legal topics and discussions, the opinion, guidance, and thoughts provided are my own and are not considered to be legal advice, in any manner.
Sr. Member
Aug 3, 2017
681 posts
499 upvotes
It would be strange for a lawyer to act for both - often lawyers act n a capacity as a mediator, but then make you sign a waiver that you didn’t receive legal advice and you had the option to have a lawyer review the agreement before you signed - of course perhaps you signed this waiver but didn’t read it either.

A couple of things:

1. The child and spousal amounts don’t seem too far out of the ordinary and the child support should adjust annually with the government published tables so don’t be surprised if you are also behind on this.

2. Often these agreements have a clause for loss/change in income. Read yours to understand that part. You cannot just choose not to pay, but follow the terms of the agreement to have it changed.

3. Extraordinary expenses are covered in most agreements and the child support guidelines/regs. They are in top of child support and in my experience for things like kids activities, daycare, tuition and other significant expenses. A key here is they are usually required to be agreed upon before being incurred, so your ex shouldn’t be able to just send you a big bill after the fact. Of course how reasonable you are or have been is also going to be important.

I recommend you see a lawyer. You can get a free consultation with many to get initial advice as to how to best proceed. The most recommended and cheapest way of doing things is to come to an agreement with your ex, but it sounds like that well has been poisoned.

If you honestly feel like you were misled by the lawyer, probably something else you could get legal advice on. Knowing you just signed and didn’t read things plus four years have gone by, you’re probably not starting from a position of power here.
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Mar 29, 2008
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angryaudifanatic wrote: The implications of marriage, divorces, and as such, separation agreements, cohabitation agreements are significantly higher than Apple's updated T&Cs.

Sure, no one reads everything, but only idiots gloss over pieces of paper that literally govern how one's biggest assets and such are to be handled.
For most, their biggest asset purchase will be their home, and again, they’re not reading everything.

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