Parenting & Family

Stay home dad / "house husband"

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[OP]
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Jun 7, 2005
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Stay home dad / "house husband"

It is common to see stay home mom / housewife. Is anyone here a stay home dad ?

Let's say your wife make more income than you and more than enough for the whole family expenses, would you be the stay dad taking care of house work and kids ? I mean instead of both struggle the daily routine (work, kids, house work), now one can focus on work while the other take care of house work and kids full time.

Thanks for sharing your experience.
90 replies
Deal Expert
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Jun 9, 2003
24800 posts
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Markham, ON
...lines are so blurred now...

so many people work at home....you can't tell if stay at home mom or dad
[OP]
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Jun 7, 2005
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thelefteyeguy wrote: ...lines are so blurred now...

so many people work at home....you can't tell if stay at home mom or dad
Work at home is still working. I meant those dads who are NOT actively working on a job.
Last edited by rdx on Oct 23rd, 2019 3:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mar 18, 2005
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Niagara Falls
I would have been if I had that option. If my wife made enough for me to stay home with my kid all day I would have. I enjoy my current job but to have the freedom to spend the entire day with my kid? Yes please. Certainly wouldn't be all roses but given the option I'd take it.
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Nov 28, 2016
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I did it 20 years ago, but I still worked to. Wife worked during the day, I worked evenings. Did that for 3 kids, or a combo of it with minimal day care and part time work. Was hard since some days you maybe said hi to each other crossing paths. No cell phones to text each other all day

Was it a manly thing to do, dont know, dont care. Wife made more money then me (still does) She has a university degree, I have technical certificates.

I never hid it, and I dont have my manhood rely on the money I make either
Last edited by WikkiWikki on Oct 23rd, 2019 3:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Deal Fanatic
Oct 1, 2004
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Toronto
Don’t think it’s socially accepted arrangement... I’m sure there are such arrangements, can’t see many husbands openly admitting to it though.
[OP]
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Jun 7, 2005
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Evil Baby wrote: I would have been if I had that option. If my wife made enough for me to stay home with my kid all day I would have. I enjoy my current job but to have the freedom to spend the entire day with my kid? Yes please. Certainly wouldn't be all roses but given the option I'd take it.
It is lucky that you enjoy your job. Most people including myself would get so much stress from the job, and a lot of time, these stresses would somehow reflect on how we treat our kids i.e. out of temper easily and yell at them that I feel bad and regret. Kids grow up so fast, time spending with them are priceless if we can afford to do so.
Penalty Box
Jun 24, 2015
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if you live in a city like Toronto, then there is no way one adult can work and make enough damn money to survive while the other adult stays home to watch the kids full time. The only reason my godfadda's wife stays home is cus my godfadda makes incone from his job working and he makes rental income that they can use to supplement his wife staying home not working, so yeah, its impossible unless you have a good plan or your rich already
Hi
[OP]
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Jun 7, 2005
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GoodFellaz wrote: if you live in a city like Toronto, then there is no way one adult can work and make enough damn money to survive while the other adult stays home to watch the kids full time. The only reason my godfadda's wife stays home is cus my godfadda makes incone from his job working and he makes rental income that they can use to supplement his wife staying home not working, so yeah, its impossible unless you have a good plan or your rich already
I actually know lot of families are having one working adults, it is just all of them are having stay home mom instead stay home dad.
Deal Addict
Aug 16, 2005
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North York
GoodFellaz wrote: if you live in a city like Toronto, then there is no way one adult can work and make enough damn money to survive while the other adult stays home to watch the kids full time. The only reason my godfadda's wife stays home is cus my godfadda makes incone from his job working and he makes rental income that they can use to supplement his wife staying home not working, so yeah, its impossible unless you have a good plan or your rich already
I live in Toronto (North York to be exact) and I'm not rich by any means. My wife has been a stay at home mom since my daughter was born in 2009 and still is to this day so I wouldn't say that there is no way.
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GoodFellaz wrote: if you live in a city like Toronto, then there is no way one adult can work and make enough damn money to survive while the other adult stays home to watch the kids full time. The only reason my godfadda's wife stays home is cus my godfadda makes incone from his job working and he makes rental income that they can use to supplement his wife staying home not working, so yeah, its impossible unless you have a good plan or your rich already
Sure you can, just work different shifts. Its not perfect, but it can work. It just comes down to how much you want to sacrifice or work at to make things work
Last edited by WikkiWikki on Oct 23rd, 2019 4:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
[OP]
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Jun 7, 2005
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mwong168 wrote: I live in Toronto (North York to be exact) and I'm not rich by any means. My wife has been a stay at home mom since my daughter was born in 2009 and still is to this day so I wouldn't say that there is no way.
Agree. For those who bought the house/condo a decade+ ago, and have a decent pay job (i.e. $80K+), he/she should be able to support the family of 3/4 with the single income.

People who make minimum wages and renting are probably hard to survive with single income in Toronto though.
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Dec 26, 2007
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I know stay at home moms and stay at home dads. Since parental leave has evolved to not necessarily be so gendered, people can try out both roles for a few months and then choose to continue having the parent at home that makes less money, or the one who would prefer it, instead of making that decision based on who has the penis. There are still more stay at home moms, but stay at home dads don’t face quite the stigma they have in the past, so I think gradually men are increasingly taking on that role if it makes the most sense for the family.

Oh, and I know a lot of stay at home parents in Toronto, and none of them are independently wealthy. Definitely not impossible.
Deal Addict
Aug 16, 2005
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North York
rdx wrote: Agree. For those who bought the house/condo a decade+ ago, and have a decent pay job (i.e. $80K+), he/she should be able to support the family of 3/4 with the single income.
We bought our townhouse at probably the worse time in 2016 when prices were sky high and houses would only stay on the market for less than a week. We were renting the house we lived in at and the landlord started seeing houses in the neighborhood go for crazy money. I can't blame him because I found out he paid $373,000 for the bungalow back in 2004 and sold it for $1,870,000 as a tear down. Lucky we had saved up enough to put 40% down on our townhouse so the transition wasn't too hard and the only new expenses for us was property tax and spending money improving our home such as new counter tops, windows, floors, etc. Even these improvements I am trying my best to do them slowly and only going ahead once we have enough saved because I refuse to commit to any other debt (LOC or CC) besides our mortgage unless it is an absolute emergency. Even if that was the case I could sell 1 or 2 of my pinball machines to raise $12-15k or cash out some of my RRSPs, TSFAs early.
WikkiWikki wrote: Sure you can, just work different shifts. Its not perfect, but it can work. It just comes down to how much you want to sacrifice or work at to make things work
My wife's sister was a stay at home mom for the past 10 years and only started working part/full time recently because my brother in-law worked construction and sometimes he would get laid off and things got tight. She would work an overnight shift or 3-11pm shift and they barely spent time together as a family. This took a huge toll on their marriage in less than a year and now they are going through a very messy separation. The worse part is one of the kids is sorta playing each parent off each other to their advantage.
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Dec 26, 2007
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rdx wrote: People who make minimum wages and renting are probably hard to survive with single income in Toronto though.
Many do. Surviving on minimum wage is incredibly difficult in any case, and often it makes more sense for one parent to stay home to watch the kids because adding another minimum wage income isn’t even going to cover the cost of childcare while you’re both working.
Deal Addict
Feb 4, 2010
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rdx wrote: It is common to see stay home mom / housewife. Is anyone here a stay home dad ?

Let's say your wife make more income than you and more than enough for the whole family expenses, would you be the stay dad taking care of house work and kids ? I mean instead of both struggle the daily routine (work, kids, house work), now one can focus on work while the other take care of house work and kids full time.

Thanks for sharing your experience.
Why is this even a question? House and child matters aren't just the wife/mother's responsibility. People need to stop worrying about what others are doing and more importantly what others are thinking of their personal situation - who cares what they think? Everyone's situation is different why would you even want to compare? How are the opinions of others on this matter going to help you. If it's in your best interest to stay and your wife work but everyone on here says no the man can't stay home, would you listen to them?

All this does is perpetuate stereotypes and gender inequality.
Last edited by hierophant on Oct 23rd, 2019 4:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
[OP]
Deal Fanatic
Jun 7, 2005
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jerrysiz wrote: Many do. Surviving on minimum wage is incredibly difficult in any case, and often it makes more sense for one parent to stay home to watch the kids because adding another minimum wage income isn’t even going to cover the cost of childcare while you’re both working.
You are right, childcare is so expensive in Toronto. For those people who make minimum wage, it would be better off taking care of kids instead of working.
By the way, I thought there is childcare subsidy for those low income families ? In my kids' daycare, there are families paying nothing (government subsidy covers that) while we are paying thousand a month...........
[OP]
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Jun 7, 2005
8946 posts
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hierophant wrote: Why is this even a question? House and child matters aren't just the wife/mother's responsibility. People need to stop worrying about what others are doing and more importantly what others are thinking of their personal situation - who cares what they think? Everyone's situation is different why would you even want to compare? How are the opinions of others on this matter going to help you. If it's in your best interest to stay and your wife work but everyone on here says no the man can't stay home, would you listen to them?

All this does is perpetuate stereotypes and gender inequality.
Not going to care what others say. Just want to know how many stay home dad are out there, and want to hear their experience ;)
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Feb 4, 2010
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rdx wrote: Not going to care what others say. Just want to know how many stay home dad are out there, and want to hear their experience ;)
I'm going to challenge you here a bit (not trying to give you a hard time). Why is it important for you to know this information - how will it (productively) serve you?
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rdx wrote: Not going to care what others say. Just want to know how many stay home dad are out there, and want to hear their experience ;)
Mine was great. Even if I could go back in time and have a full time job, I wouldnt do it. I got to be a stay at home day for my 3 kids, but the first one the most, due to the fact back then it was only 3 months maternity leave, not a year. When the year one hit, my wife stayed home that year and I worked

We just made it work, my wife saw that while I didnt bring in the income she did, that I was willing to step up to the plate. I worked 2 jobs at time, and then contract work on random assignments. Some days, which wasnt very often, I was up 24 hours straight.
Last edited by WikkiWikki on Oct 23rd, 2019 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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