On, man you don't get it!lecale wrote: ↑ Thank you for bumping my wall of text. If people missed it, they can hit the wall again. People are going to have to scroll and roll on this one, I am going to do it again anyway.
I have no problem explaining IT concepts if someone asks.
The four pillars of enterprise resource management development are faith, hope, humility and prayer. People tell me the process is like purgatory but when you get to the "end" the Holy Gates are locked.
There are a lot of good teachings in the Bible. One is that you don't come at SAP like a boss. He's too big, he will crush you. You must approach with humility. What Target did in Canada is turn up, announce they were going to do a completely new SAP implementation in record time in a foreign country they had never done business in and it was going to be bilingual and they went at it like a total boss. All the MBA types nodded their heads and said this looks promising. These are uni-lingual uni-tied states of Americans and they have never ever exchanged once word with François. They blew into Canada the way Rob Ford hit the scene at GreenStone Rehab: in denial, totally assured of their superstar status and ability with no sense that they were in fact an impending train wreck. Casey Jones you better, watch your speed.
So François tells me that this bilingualism thing is not so simple as swapping out text strings. It is actually a test to make Anglos prove that they love the Francophones and they are really going to make you work for it. First, every time you use a colon you gotta put a space in front of it like this : and not like this: so that is not a database thing that is code. Then they don't use normal quotes they use «these ones» and the graphics department lets you know the font they used for the English site doesn't really address extended ASCII and all the diacriticals (stuff with accents on it) and the angle brackets are displaying all messed up. Doesn't matter, we will change that everywhere. Like, everywhere.
Quebecers are deeply religious too, François used to talk about the sacraments a lot, particularly blue ones, also other blue things like Pepsi and Bud Light. We both tried to ford the river between our cultures. I then tried to swim across the river. François told me he could only cross the river by swimming. It is not actually possible to swim across the river in French.
This is why the Target thing was so funny.
I learned a lot from MBA types. Two blew into our company as the dotcom boom was cresting and the intelligent people were distracted by other projects. They were Big. On. Sears. They told us they had learned through their MBA's that Sears was going to take the world by storm because they were selling crap on the internet and letting you pick it up at a a chain of dry cleaners. I told them the dry cleaners smelled like old people and the Sears catalogue desk had a little café that was like Welfare Starbucks. Most direct route there was via the entrance near the loading dock. They hadn't been. Still big on it. They had us ground into insolvency in 12 months. We always said B2B stood for Back 2 Business school.
This brings us to the topic of f-bombs. f- is actually a technical term in IT. It has a very precise meaning. The problem is that it is also a cultural shibboleth: you hear it all over urban music, film and other arts because it keeps the ruling class out. F-bombs burn ruling class ears and the ruling class is trained to run away when they encounter one. Also if you want to clear a crowd of urban kids at the CNE you play country music. If you want to clear a crowd of ruling class kids you play urban. F-bombs are how we keep the culture of the poor, blacks, minorities and IT workers separate from that of their wealthy ruling class overlords.
I am not going to carpet-bomb Dresden but take Eminem's approach: drop just one at a time, fight with the FCC about getting into Walmart, win, introduce kids to some new meaningful vocabulary.
When something is "f-ed" it is in a state of chaos, disorganization and disconnect.
When something is "f-ed up" it is in a state of chaos, disorganization and disconnect that has led to failure.
Someone who is "aspirational af" (aspirational as f-) really really wants something but has no concept of what it's going to be like when they get there. In a sentence: "Target was aspirational af."
A "f-er" is an agent of chaos, disorganization and disconnect.
A "f-head" is someone who can only think up things that cause chaos, disorganization and disconnect.
When someone says "f you" they are wishing as much chaos, disorganization and disconnect you caused them back on you.
The terms "f-ing" and "ffs" (for f-'s sake) are used to get to the point and summarize they way @Temporel would have it. This is how the terms are used.
Someone approaches, thinks it's Wendy's. "They haven't sent this to us digitally and we are going to have to scan the f-ing reports with f-ing FineReader but I think the accountants bought a f-ing licence, ffs."
I hear: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah f-ing reports blah f-ing FineReader blah blah blah blah f-ing licence, ffs."
So the guy did a whole rant but marked up the key points. Reports, FineReader, we actually own a legal copy and isn't that amazing, ffs. I can then cruise the office looking for pointers to the person with the FineReader licence. Turns out it's one of the admin staff; otherwise I would have gone directly to talk to the f-ing accountants a but that's not what I heard.
Now a lot of companies don't like employees roaming around pointing out all the chaos, disorganization and disconnect. It is not polite to use the word for these things around our ruling class overlords with the MBAs. It's like the style guide for the New York Times: they won't let any writer use the word "racist" to describe Donald Trump. They will let writers use any other euphemism, "extremely not fond of blacks" is ok, "Trump is racist" is absolutely not. So that's how people will have it in some places. Things can be f-ed, you just can't point it out.
Now "general f-ery" is systemic chaos, disorganization and disconnect. Think Amy Winehouse singing "Me and Mr. Jones" and questioning, "What f-ery is this? What kind of f-ery are we? What kind of f-ery are you?" In IT we use this word when discussing systems and relationships (as Amy does in her song). Same concept. Good tune for the office Christmas party.
So onto the general f-ery of Walmart. You know that a company is experiencing general f-ery when there is an issue, customers rise up and unite to address it, and the company is never able to.
I went to order a bag of rice on walmart.ca. All the stuff North Americans were trained to accept like Minute Rice and US-grown long grain white and parboiled rice are devoid of 2-acetyl-1-pyrroline, the stuff that gives rice its flavour, which is why I like to buy the fancy stuff from developing countries. Sometimes there is insect infestation in foreign brands and that's just something that happens. Replace the bag and move on.
I find the brand I want but there are two reviews. Two people reported receiving rice with insects in the bag but it was 2 months ago and surely these people are jacks for going public on this instead of taking it to customer service. It was interesting that the reviews were approved and Walmart wasn't hiding anything. I figure this issue is resolved and add to cart.
My rice shows up and sure enough it has bugs.
A few days later I hit the Wallyworld customer service with my rice. I tell the girl at the desk that the rice has bugs, and I want to make a bug report about the website. Surely if they are shipping rice with bugs in it for 2 months someone wants to know.
The CS person thinks that's cute because I want to make a bug report and my rice has bugs. She's poking the bag and the bugs are running side to side. I tell her I am serious. Can I make a bug report through customer service? She says no, she will take the bugs and throw them in the garbage.
I get my refund and go home. There is a contact form on the website and I let Walmart know they have been selling buggy rice for 2 months and people are on to this. I look up the rice to add a review because I want to report I also received bugs, and I see that someone new has too.
I did have an exchange with someone by email iirm, and I moved on with life.
Maybe 6 months later this whole escapade comes up again and for kicks I go to check on the rice listing. Walmart is still shipping rice with bugs. People are posting reviews and the page has now become a community. Everyone has been united by the bugs, they want to figure out how this happened. People don't like chaos, disorganization and disconnect and don't like to remain in that state. People are organizing around the issue, they know where the factory is, it's a seasonal issue, they have the bag lot numbers, everyone is pitching in to fill in the big picture. I'm looking at this and thinking, this is just like the USENET days and I'm in the alt.food.walmart.general-f-ery.rice forum. People have pretty well formed a discussion group around the bugs and Walmart's inability to fix them.
It took them a year to clean up that listing.
The problem is that you can tell a company they are f-ed but some types tune out when they hear this highly informational word. The government is known for general f-ery and here's how that works.
Some guy goes down to the welfare office, experiences general chaos, disorganization and disconnect, wishes the same on the booth attendant and says f you. The booth attendant does not recognize this as a succinct message about chaos, disorganization and disconnect but as a threat of sexual violence because that's what she's been told. It's sexual, maybe this guy wants a date, whatever the case is she's seen his income statements and she is deeply offended by the whole concept. He seeks to clarify the situation and tells her she's f-ed, a f-head, and a f-ing (keyword marker) f-er (keyword) ffs (the most amazing part) and an administrator of chaos, disorganization and disconnect. She calls security. She does not want to go out with this guy and he has become hypersexual.
I suspect that they don't throw a lot of f-bombs around the Loblaw offices because they are big on having really clean uniformly groomed data and big on business logic and testing. They seemed to have made the early decision that they wanted their customers to interface directly with their IT and not depend on any kind of attendant to prevent people from doing the kind of things people do. Other companies seem to take the approach, "it's a'ight, there will be people there to stop stupid things from happening" and everybody knows the store staff actually facilitate stupidity so that is a bad path.
@johnb56789 please quit Walmart and call Loblaw. Don't make it a Brokeback Mountain thing.
@EastGTARedFlagger all the Etobocoke gangster rappers love CT because of the red triangle, which is a white pride symbol. They buy their Timberlands at Mark's and gangster hoodies at SportChek. I cannot see these guys merging with Loblaw. Some gangsta rapper's spitting "you pussies want a donut, here's a biscuit," what's Loblaw's angle on this? I'm sure he means Pillsbury and not a < 16 year old girl in the sex trade? I don't know how much Toronto rap you follow but it's all girls, guns, coke, weed, money, city lights and Canadian Tire. They have to get rid of the guns because they have become a wigger icon.
I didn't even snip the quote section on purpose like I often do when posts are too long.
How many people do you think will read that entire new WALL?
No upvote this time.