Parenting & Family

Wedding planned for the last 3 years. How would you proceed?

  • Last Updated:
  • Oct 20th, 2020 3:04 pm
Deal Fanatic
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Mar 10, 2005
8933 posts
2844 upvotes
Kiraly wrote: Ugghhh those are the worst! I think that's an awful thing to do to your friends and family. "Hey Gary! Great news! You'll have to use up a week of your vacation time, change any plans you might have and pay for your own flight and hotel to Mexico, because I'm getting married! I don't care if you've been saving your money and banking your vacation for something else, because obviously this is more important!" I'd never do that to people I care about.
Haha I hear you. From a fun factor though I just prefer them over traditional weddings but you are right it might not always fit in with your own vacation plans in which case I just decline. And I get that can be difficult to do with close friends and family.
Discomfort is your friend
Jr. Member
Apr 25, 2020
117 posts
31 upvotes
Talk to your fiance and weigh the options together. If both of you can wait, you may cancel and move the wedding and opt for a bigger and grander dream celebration that you wished for. But if you really want to have it this year, minimize your number of guests and have an intimate celebration, with just your two families involved and a few guests.
Sr. Member
Oct 27, 2012
854 posts
826 upvotes
Toronto
One of my relatives is proceeding with her wedding in a few weeks from now. Was postponed to next year, but last month, she decided to move it back up to this year. Will have the full 50 people. I'm personally not going and I question the responsibility of continuing to hold an indoor wedding with plenty of older people. I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking this. That is to say, guests might feel uncomfortable attending and the atmosphere would accordingly be not-so-celebratory. Maybe save the bigger party for the future?
Deal Fanatic
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Nov 13, 2010
6764 posts
1249 upvotes
Scarborough
Op, show this thread to your fiancee and see her reaction ;)
Member
Jul 16, 2019
466 posts
255 upvotes
Have the wedding i.e. the civil/religous part now along with a small celebration of 50 people. Postpone the larger party to next year same time as a one year party to celebrate the wedding. People will understand. And most importantly, your bride will be happy.
We are in a similar situation. Moved out a large summer banquet hall event (300 people) to Nov but unlikely to happen so will likely resched for next year.
[OP]
Newbie
Jan 15, 2019
55 posts
38 upvotes
Lot’s of great replies. Thanks everyone.

We’ve decided to use the venue on our wedding day for the ceremony, and only have immediate family and our bridal party (everyone already bought suits and dresses...we’ve chosen to pay for half of the cost since we feel bad).

Dinner and party will be had next year if we choose to do it, though I’m sure the itch will have passed by then.

Only concern is the venue... as I mentioned we’ve paid $11,000 so far, and I’m sure they’re not eager to refund us.

We emailed them, waiting for a call back.

Thanks everyone for the help here
Sr. Member
Oct 24, 2010
881 posts
666 upvotes
Ottawa
$18k for the venue? Wow, that's crazy to me. Does that include venue, tables and chairs, decorations, food, booze, music; or are all of those extra?

I'm glad we got married in rural NL. Our wedding was relatively small at 65 guests, but we came in under $10k for everything when we married in summer 2015. With rings and flights, we were sitting around $16k.
Deal Fanatic
Mar 21, 2010
5132 posts
1935 upvotes
Toronto
Kiraly wrote: Ugghhh those are the worst! I think that's an awful thing to do to your friends and family. "Hey Gary! Great news! You'll have to use up a week of your vacation time, change any plans you might have and pay for your own flight and hotel to Mexico, because I'm getting married! I don't care if you've been saving your money and banking your vacation for something else, because obviously this is more important!" I'd never do that to people I care about.
You could look at it from the other angle - it gives them a perfectly acceptable reason to not go. You get a smaller wedding and everyone who is there, at least in practice, really really wanted to go. It's better than being at some banquet hall in the suburbs with a room full of people who are only there because you felt obligated to invite them and they felt obligated to be there.
Deal Guru
User avatar
Oct 23, 2008
10815 posts
7150 upvotes
GTA, ON
Cancel wedding and go for Civic Ceremony for now. You can always have a 1yr anniversary reception next year. It is what it is. Safety for you and all your friends & family should come first before any party.
Tis banana is IRIE :razz:

10% off is cold, 50% off is warm, 75% off is hot, but FREE IS RFD!
Deal Addict
User avatar
Sep 9, 2007
1926 posts
102 upvotes
Toronto
We had a destination wedding for 25 close guests. It has been almost 10 years and people still have memories of the crazy 7 days we had. The other people who had their weddings here in Toronto sit with poker faces not understanding why no one talk about or remembers their weddings.
Deal Fanatic
Aug 5, 2006
5316 posts
2548 upvotes
Global Village
My uncle was telling me about this wedding recently in Europe where 15 people got covid, including the bride and groom. If you do go ahead insist on masks at all times and get email addresses or phone numbers from everyone, you will need to keep all guests (and the authorities) informed if even 1 person at the wedding tests positive.
All day I dream about sports
Deal Guru
User avatar
Mar 31, 2008
11411 posts
1997 upvotes
Toronto
That's a huge deposit. Try to get a refund or something.
Deal Fanatic
Dec 5, 2006
8327 posts
3772 upvotes
Markham
Kiraly wrote: Ugghhh those are the worst! I think that's an awful thing to do to your friends and family. "Hey Gary! Great news! You'll have to use up a week of your vacation time, change any plans you might have and pay for your own flight and hotel to Mexico, because I'm getting married! I don't care if you've been saving your money and banking your vacation for something else, because obviously this is more important!" I'd never do that to people I care about.
Mexico does look like a good destination now lol
Newbie
Aug 9, 2020
10 posts
4 upvotes
cut the wedding size to bare minimum... and have everyone go get a covid test 3 days prior.. you can prebook appointments

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